I used to be OCDesque, micro managing, micro planning, perfectionist.
When I first met my husband I thought either he kind of gave up on his life or he had done it all, seen it all, he had no interest in anything anymore.
But soon I realized he is a very kindhearted, easy going person powered by a super computer brain.
I was kind of right. He has lots of life experience and knowledge in so many subjects, he sometimes appears to be indifferent and uninterested.
When he’s silent in the back seat of a discussion class, people might think he doesn’t know what to say and he might actually pretend and say,
“Um, I don’t know. What do you think?”
But he’s actually observing how people talk, react, and make gestures because he knows about a certain psychological reaction of human being, and how it’s applied in a discussion: he’s studying something beyond the discussion topic.
If I was going to a discussion class, I would stay up however many nights to prepare everything to trample on opposite opinions.
I’d go in a classroom with a soldier’s spirit to win it all. And if I don’t or if the discussion doesn’t end in my favor, I’d get furious I would either talk to a professor to hold a discussion again or talk to those who had opposite opinions so I can still prove I’m right. Actually, I have a great story of how I exchanged countless emails with a visiting professor to argue why I deserved A+ instead of A. Yes, at the end of the endless email argument, he corrected my grade to A+.
In the same situation, my husband would still appreciate A and if he was a bit disappointed, which he wouldn’t, he would watch a TV show or get a delicious burger to forget about it. He would say “It’s not the end of the world. It could’ve been C or D.”
He’s so calm in any upsetting situations, sometimes I wonder if he was Buddha in his past life.
Not only that, his range of knowledge is like a deep wide ocean. He knows everything from what Bob Dylan said in whatever year’s concert to how a parabolic motion can be proved in physics. If I didn’t have an almost photogenic memory, I’d have felt so dumb talking to him.
He’s a perfect example of “half full of glass” person with unlimited knowledge in just about everything. I’m talking real knowledge and intelligence rather than trivia stuff.
And I’m the perfect example of “half empty glass” person who’s bitter, sarcastic, critical, pessimistic, and most importantly would fight with anything to make the rest of the glass full AND have an extra full glass just in case something happens to the first one.
So this is why he’s Confucius and I’m bitter Schopenhauer.
But after being with him for several years, I learned to let things go and appreciate what’s there at the moment.
I still get angry, way too passionate about things don’t go as I want especially when everything seemed perfectly fine.
But then he’d calmly say to me,
“It’s ok, baby. Tomorrow is another day.”